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Collateral Beauty 2016 Full Movie Free Download Successful advertising executive Howard Inlet (Will Smith) is reduced to a clinically depressed loner after his.

This has been an awful year. The world has taken one hopelessly regressive step after another. Everyone you admired has died. At times, it has felt like things couldn’t possibly get any worse.

And then the second trailer for the forthcoming Will Smith movie Collateral Beauty was released. And now things are much worse than anyone could have imagined.

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Collateral Beauty comes from the writer of the film where Kevin James became a cage-fighter, as well as the film where Jason Bateman gets drunk and artificially inseminates Jennifer Aniston with his sperm by mistake. But Collateral Beauty is different to those films. Collateral Beauty is, by some distance, stupider than those films. Look, here’s the trailer.

Meet Will Smith. He’s just been through an unthinkable tragedy. You know, just like the man Will Smith played in the Will Smith movie Seven Pounds. The tragedy has caused him to ride his bike aimlessly around the city while saying things like “I’m trying to fix my mind” in such a halting way that it’s natural to assume that he’s some kind of savant.

Called it. However, unlike the Rubik’s Cube-loving savant that Will Smith played in the Will Smith movie The Pursuit of Happyness, this Will Smith savant loves dominoes instead, which makes it a completely different movie. Why dominoes? At a guess, it’s because he’ll get to push them all over at the end of the film in a grindingly literal moment of sledgehammer symbolism.

Another way that this Will Smith savant differs from any past Will Smith savants is that he writes letters. Not letters to people, you understand. No, he writes letters to abstract concepts like time and death and love. And then he posts them.

But the funniest thing happens. Somehow, just by writing the word “Death” on an envelope and posting it, the letter manages to get all the way to Helen Mirren. She miraculously knows where to find Will Smith and, even though she doesn’t actually ever open the envelope or read the letter or anything, she’s able to offer him a series of annoying platitudes about the nature of tragedy.

And then Time shows up too! His method of identification, as with Death, just involves showing Will Smith the letter he wrote. This either means that Will Smith’s pain has caused a rupture so profound that it’s allowed universal concepts to take on corporeal forms, or that a bunch of guys at the sorting office have decided to screw with him for kicks.

Even Love comes to visit Will Smith. Who knew that, in all the songs and poems and plays ever written about love, they were all actually about Keira Knightley pulling this face again?

Annoyed that he’s inadvertently made a film about the benefits of Cosmic Ordering, which basically makes Collateral Beauty a terrible sort of Noel Edmonds: The Motion Picture, Will Smith gets on his bike and rides around some more.

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“Don’t you understand?” Keira Knightley shouts while pulling that face again. “This whole thing is just an aggressively dopey remake of A Christmas Carol that lacks all the charm of the original because Will Smith wasn’t in the original, and Will Smith’s production company didn’t make the original, so Dickens was never handed a set of notes suggesting that Ebenezer Scrooge should also be some sort of Beautiful Mind-style adorable genius whose skills manifest themselves in an advanced affinity for childrens’ toys. Also, in A Christmas Carol, every third line spoken by a side character didn’t reinforce the mistaken notion that Scrooge was some sort of troubled genius. Also, nobody in A Christmas Carol pulled a face that made them look as if they were going ‘BUHHH?’ whenever they spoke. That’s what I’m doing all the time! This is a stupid film and you should be genuinely ashamed of yourself.”

So Will Smith goes home and – oh, called it.

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And then Kate Winslet does this with her face, because she’s in this film too. They’ve all clearly learned important lessons from this experience, apart from Will Smith who sneaks off to option a script about a dyslexic murderer who’s really good at Pop-Up Pirate or whatever.

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